A Favorite Soliloquy

As soon as I saw that patina was the word for today, I instantly thought of this classic soliloquy From the movie, Michael Clayton…

“Michael. Dear Michael. Of course it’s you, who else could they send, who else could be trusted? I… I know it’s a long way and you’re ready to go to work… all I’m saying is wait, just wait, just-just-just… please hear me out because this is not an episode, relapse, fuck-up, it’s… I’m begging you Michael. I’m begging you. Try and make believe this is not just madness because this is not just madness. Two weeks ago I came out of the building, okay, I’m running across Sixth Avenue, there’s a car waiting, I got exactly 38 minutes to get to the airport and I’m dictating. There’s this, this panicked associate sprinting along beside me, scribbling in a notepad, and suddenly she starts screaming, and I realize we’re standing in the middle of the street, the light’s changed, there’s this wall of traffic, serious traffic speeding towards us, and I… I-I freeze, I can’t move, and I’m suddenly consumed with the overwhelming sensation that I’m covered with some sort of film. It’s in my hair, my face… it’s like a glaze… like a… a coating, and… at first I thought, oh my god, I know what this is, this is some sort of amniotic – embryonic – fluid. I’m drenched in afterbirth, I’ve-I’ve breached the chrysalis, I’ve been reborn. But then the traffic, the stampede, the cars, the trucks, the horns, the screaming and I’m thinking no-no-no-no, reset, this is not rebirth, this is some kind of giddy illusion of renewal that happens in the final moment before death. And then I realize no-no-no, this is completely wrong because I look back at the building and I had the most stunning moment of clarity. I… I… I… I realized Michael, that I had emerged not from the doors of Kenner, Bach, and Ledeen, not through the portals of our vast and powerful law firm, but from the asshole of an organism whose sole function is to excrete the… the-the-the poison, the ammo, the defoliant necessary for other, larger, more powerful organisms to destroy the miracle of humanity. And that I had been coated in this patina of shit for the best part of my life. The stench of it and the stain of it would in all likelihood take the rest of my life to undo. And you know what I did? I took a deep cleansing breath and I set that notion aside. I tabled it. I said to myself as clear as this may be, as potent a feeling as this is, as true a thing as I believe that I have witnessed today, it must wait. It must stand the test of time. And Michael, the time is now.”

-Arthur Edens, “Michael Clayton, 2007”



Synchronicity Happens

So, this morning I was reading, Something Torn and New: An African Renaissance by Nguji wa Thiong’o … It is a refreshingly blunt and concise articulation of the role that imposing one’s language on people one wants to control and hold dominion over, plays in engineering brutalized nations into docile colonized subjects. Something the English started in Ireland and then spread across the globe – that  whole, mapping-naming-owning method. And of course, the whole point of even writing about it in a book is to communicate the necessity for Africans of both the continent and the diaspora, to re-member our natural languages in order to come back into our natural minds.

Later, when I took a break to see what the daily word was, I instantly saw the connection to what I had just been reading. It is clear to see that English is used as a tether to keep colonized peoples subjugated, and out of their natural minds. Doing so has given rise to modernity. It’s one method, albeit a devilish one. Quite literally.

The degree to which the subject makes one uncomfortable, is the degree to which one either identifies with the pathological arrogance of the colonizer, or the humiliation of the colonized. I think that, what underlies the discomfort is the inherent understanding that, if through brutality, peoples were brought to their knees and empires built upon their backs, eventually, the weight of that becomes too much to continue to bear and so, those people will begin to stand up. The irony is that the very gospels the colonizer used to bring the subjects to their knees in the first place, are the same gospels that caution that a house built upon shifting sand, will fall.

Nature Herself demands it … So let it be done.

Whoop – There It Is!

I spent the last hour or so, going about my business, wondering whether or not I wanted to enter an entry for today’s daily word prompt, detonate. I wasn’t necessarily feeling it. I was more preoccupied with other things this afternoon – and then my 21-year old sent to my iPhone, a meme that is going around…


In ‘hood vernacular
from back in the day
I have to say:
That’s the bOmb.

Adrift Not, in this ‘Empty Nest’

Last Thursday, my youngest child graduated from our local college, with her first degree. In a couple of months, she will be moving over four-hours away to attend university that will be her home for the next few years, as she earns her more advanced degrees. My baby girl and I are very close and we will miss each other a great deal – we are very ‘Gilmore Girls’ close. And although I doubt more than three weeks will ever go by without us being together, I am aware that I have approached the point where many full-time mothers feel as though they have come untied from their moorings. I am grateful that I am not in that place, at this time. It’s sorta funny but I went through this 5-3 years ago. It wasn’t funny then, but in hind sight I can see how having my period of feeling adrift beforehand, allows me to truly enjoy and support this stage of my child’s development … As well as my own. Having had that anxiety in advance, forced me to give a great deal of consideration to what I am going to do with my time.

The first 25 years I was merely a byproduct of other peoples lives – the latter 10 spent in trying to heal from the first 15. The next 25 years belonged to my children. These next 25 upon which threshold I am poised – are mine. I am 51 and my life finally feels like it is my own. And I have a good plan for it.

New Phases

I was blessed with a Mama’s girl. A good one, too. At 21, she remains close to my skirts, still. Tomorrow night, my husband will board a plane from Oklahoma and be here all week. Although we talk to him several times a week, we have not seen him since 2008. On Thursday, her godfather will arrive from Connecticut. We don’t know whether her grandfather will take a bus or accept a ride from Tennessee…Her biological father died before she was born but it is lovely that these men come through for her. It is a transitional time as my youngest, my baby girl, prepares herself to walk across that stage and into her life. She simply has one final final to do and in less than a week, she will be graduating college with the first of many degrees.

To Sovereignty

There is a popular deflection
in American Myth-maintaining
that serves to put the displaced
on the defensive
whenever one asserts
her or his inalienable
right to sovereignty.

This is designed to get slaves to
shut up and be quiet;
obey their so-called masters
… And slaves do.

Then there’s the rest of us.
Personally, I do not accept
the denigrating designations
assigned to me.
I will pursue the truth
of who I am by
looking back at
who my Ancestors were
before the devils reign.

Uncle Sam and his
flat-assed mammy can
keep their genocide
…I will work out my own salvation.


© 2017 ((aka) Waaku Mu Sekhmet

Impermanence: Unstuck

I was a teen back in the 80’s when my Dad first introduced me to the Universal Law of Attraction. He didn’t use that term for the science he was describing; in fact, when it first came up – he didn’t actually say anything at all, he just left Uncle Henry’s book sitting out where I would find it and be sure to pick it up. I guess I was about 13. The book was called, “The Power of Your Subconscious Mind.” At that time, I was already well-read in various religions, mythologies and philosophies and had read enough developmental- and abnormal child psychology to have at least a bs degree. I was highly likely to abscond with that book, and I did. Cognitively, I got it. Employing the mechanics of it for results was more challenging. Over the years, I have studied this in many different ways but had the same difficulty – except for in emergency situations. But for decades, I just wanted to be able to use this Law of Attraction effectively, at will.

I started to get a deeper grasp on it in a way that made me think I might be able to ‘work’ it, when I was in my early 30’s, via a verse from the New Testament – Hebrews 11:1, when one day I realized what it was actually saying. The verse goes:

Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” -kjv

The first thing I realized was that I had the initial inflection wrong … 

I grew up hearing this verse: “Now faith…” It dawned on me that it is more useful as: “Now faith…” 

So it was describing that Law of Attraction principle that having faith in or being sure of what is hoped for, now – is the key to having it. This realization rang true and brought me a bit further, but I still had problems implementing the principle. It was very frustrating, for a good many years because I would hear people all of the time, figure the thing out. I finally had a breakthrough in 2012, when I realized where I was having a problem; it was in the now parts. Prior to this, I had been engaging in ‘positive thinking’ and affirmations, while staying wired to the undesired now, conditions. I had to learn how to do something mentally, that we all probably do with our eyes, from time to time, where we make things look blurry by deliberately softening our vision. So I was in this truly precarious situation with my teenage daughter where we needed to be able to survive safely. Money was much needed. I think desperation finally kicked it into the grok zone but it dawned on me at last that I didn’t need to wish for desire or call money to me but rather know fully, that it was already there – and in great abundance. A shift in perception needed to occur that real-eyes-is that the unwanted condition of being broke and in need, was a temporary illusion that became such the instant I set a different intention in motion. I knew I was onto something once it finally clicked because I could feel it … and it has been working, ever since.