Actually…

I never thought of myself as a bitter person, but I suppose there are a few things that I do feel a bit bitter about. There are just some things in life that are just too jacked up to feel any other way about. For instance, when my kid brother died eight months ago, today – that was a very bitter day. That day has yet to set, in fact. In essence, he drank himself to death. And he was the loveliest man that ever was. It was hard to stomach – and still is, the grief of our parents when they are the reason why he drunk himself to death, in the first place. I am ever caught between my anger and my compassion. My compassion appears to win out, while inside I am seething with bitterness over the never ending unfairness of it all – even over the position of having to forgive them or it transfers their lifetime of irresponsible decisions onto me by making me out to be the unreasonable and unforgivable thing. It’s an awful feeling which describes itself…

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